Bitter Almonds

A good (?) friend of mine, whom I owe this sudden jolt of ‘writing electricity’, once asked me in an impervious tone: If your parents died right now, what would you do?

Honestly. Couldn't she come up with a better 'inquisitory'?

Aside from the fact that I don’t expect my parents to keel over and kick the bucket anytime soon (because they’re still young and they’re too awesome to die this very minute), I cannot possibly know how I would react to such a sudden dismal event since I didn’t experience any similar occurrence before, and I am not telepathic or psychic or whatever enough to predict an outcome. (Although my past life might have. On both.)

If your parents died right now, would you:
     

- Sit in a corner/burrow your face on your hands or desk, wallow in despair, and look like a total loser.

-  Lock yourself in a public bathroom stall and cry your heart out, unaware that there is a person on the next stall, listening and recording your sorrows.

-  Hold back tears while running back home because you’re in a place where there are lots of people, though inside your heart is already having a wake.

-  Call your other relatives and spread the word, only they don’t understand a thing because of your uncontrollable sobbing.

-  Immediately throw a party.

-  You have no idea what’s going on because you’re far away from home and you don’t have a phone.

-  Be poetic about it, and write a poem (duh) about your dead parents.

-  Go crazy.

- Jump out of a 50... 500 storey-building in a desperate attempt to follow your parents.

-  Update your Facebook status to: My parents just died. (Cookies to anyone who can see the reference.)

- Tweet about it: Parents died. #noallowancefromnowon

-  Proclaim that your parents’ deaths were murder, and continue on a deduction show, Holmes-style.
- Use this as a reason to start fighting evil geniuses and criminal organizations and be a badass vigilante/crimefighter/anti-hero/dude in a wetsuit.
- Hold a public execution in memory of your dead parents.

And this, dear moronic populace, is why you should never, ever, eveeeeeeeer ask me a question that would require a sufficient deal of mental guessing. (I’m the only one allowed, as one would expect.) See, there are an infinite number of options to go to, and one can really never know. Oh, and just so you know, I won’t hear you saying: You’re an absolute bastard—no pun intended—and don’t you know that a lot of people never had parents to begin with (where did they come from then?!) or some people grew up without parents and you’re a douchebag for making fun of a serious topic, blah, blah, blah. I was just trying to make a point—though I’m still trying to know what—so move on. It’s not like you’re really reading this. I’m just talking to myself.

Just having fun. *switches to fauxlosophical mode*